How to Plan Your Wedding Speeches (Without Losing the Room)
The night before one of my weddings, my couple messaged me. They'd decided they did want speeches after all. Three of them.
On the night, there were five.
Speeches are one of the best parts of a reception. They're also where most wedding timelines come undone. So here's how I help my couples plan them, after 10 years and 150 weddings.
How many speeches?
Three to four plus your thank you speech.
That's enough for the people who matter most to have their moment, without your guests drifting off or your mains going cold. Once you get past four, even great speeches start to blur together.
If more people want to say something, that's lovely. Give them another moment: a toast at your welcome drinks, a few words over dinner the night before, or a note you can read later.
What order?
My go-to running order:
A parent or family member. They welcome everyone and set the tone.
A best friend or two / bridal party. This is where the stories (and the laughs) come out.
The two of you, last. You get the final word, you thank everyone in one go, and the room is already warm.
It's a guide, not a rule. If your mum is the funniest person you know, she can go last. The point is to think about the energy, not just tradition.
How long?
Three to five minutes each.
That's roughly 400 to 600 words. The easiest way to check is to read it out loud with a timer. If it goes past five minutes, cut the inside jokes only three people will get.
When should speeches happen?
Split them between courses.
I like one or two before entrée, then one or two before mains, and your thank you speech after mains. You can combine your speech with cake cutting and the first dance. It means:
Guests are never sitting through 20 minutes of speeches in a row
The kitchen can serve on time, and food arrives hot
The energy builds through the night instead of dipping in one long block
Every venue runs differently, so lock the timing in with your venue coordinator and your MC before the day.
A few tips to pass on to your speakers
Write it down. Even confident speakers lose their place when emotions hit.
Practise out loud. At least twice, ideally to someone honest.
Hold the mic close. About a fist away from your mouth, and keep it there.
Say who you are. Half the room won't know how you know the couple.
Have the big drink after. Trust me on this one.
End with a toast. It gives everyone a clear finish and a reason to cheer.
What a good MC does behind the scenes
This is the bit nobody sees. Before every speech, your MC should check the photographer and videographer are in the room, let the DJ know when the music needs to go off and back on, and make sure the venue isn't clearing plates while someone's dad is getting emotional.
When three speeches turn into five, a good MC reshuffles the order on the fly so your guests never notice.
That's exactly what I do as your Celebrant + MC. I'm with you from "I do" to the dancefloor, so your speakers know where to be and you just get to enjoy it.
Planning your 2027 wedding? I only take 25 weddings a year. Check your date
